My boy graduated from Kindergarten this week.
I don’t even know how this happened. How did we even get this far? Wow, does time fly.
As I sit here watching him play and eat animal crackers while I suck down an afternoon pick-me-up, a lot of thoughts (as usual) are going through my head. Did I guide him enough this year? Did he understand enough, did he understand and learn from ME enough? How much did he actually learn? Did he enjoy himself and have enough fun through the year? Did I just DO enough as his mama? What can I do more to help him succeed the way that works best for him? This year came and went so fast and through all of the emotion and chaos, I’d have to say it was quite bittersweet to soak it all in and watch him grow through his first official year of school. Now that he’s off to 1st grade, it’s like ‘official big boy status.’ But that doesn’t mean that my mama mind isn’t feeling just as crazy as ever.
I gathered some reminders for you mamas out there, for those times when you are feeling like you are not giving enough, wondering if you’ll make it through or why you can’t simply just do it all. Because on a serious note, this worry is going through our minds at some point every single day. It wears on us. It breaks us down. It runs us, literally.
So, just know that as much as you are trying, you ARE enough. And you may not feel it, you may actually feel drained. But believe me, to the people that are in your home, those who see you daily, who know who you are and know what you give to them, you are.
Please read these aloud to yourself. Every day.
Stick them around your home on post it notes if you need to. But keep your head up, your mind fresh and your heart full.
You were made for this life.
ALL I NEED IS WITHIN ME.
Take a deep breath. You are not the only one who is feeling this way and please just focus on knowing that you are completely capable and truly do have the ability to make your life your happy place. Choose positivity, choose acceptance of who you are, where you are, and choose to listen to your heart. Your heart will always win. Every single thing that you need to be successful or to get you through something in your life, you already have inside yourself. Think about it, no one can fix yourself better than you. You were created to be able to do this yourself and no one will be better at doing this than you.
You. Got. This.
And it will be hard, no one ever said motherhood was easy. But every day, you can do this.
I AM STRONGER THAN I SEEM + I AM BRAVER THAN I THINK.
Do you know how strong and brave you are as a mom?
I mean, you made it through childbirth didn’t you? That’s a superhero power within itself!
Your mind will talk you into things, make you feel questionable at times or maybe even shoot some negative obstacles your direction. But it shouldn’t allow you to get too far off track or lose focus, unless you allow it to. It may take you to a place where you are confused and don’t know where you are, who you are or make you question what direction you need to go next. This is normal and part of life, and it will happen more times than I can count for you. Your inner self may feel and look different than your outer skin that everyone else sees, and this is okay. However, to get through each chapter of doubt, struggle and frustration, please refer back to the last reminder. You know what you want, you know what you want to do. You got this. Stay strong, get through one day (or even hour) at a time and simply just keep believing in yourself. Your kids do. You, as a mother, and as a woman, have more power and control than you even know.
MIRACLES ARE TAKING PLACE.
It’s hard sometimes to believe things will be great or stay great more consistently, I totally get it. And while everyone’s journey is different, it’s important to know that it just may ‘not be that time yet.’ Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll get where you’re supposed to be. The perspective of things may come in a different way or form, but things will happen. You have to let things form naturally or it will never work out. And without these hard times in between, you will never be able to gain the extra knowledge, patience or strength to help you through when you may need it in the future. Things happen for a reason, after all. “Be still and know,” okay? You are okay. You will be okay.
I AM DONE COMPLAINING.
Don’t dwell on the way you look, stop trying to be in control of things you cannot control and stop being upset with yourself (or others) because you are not getting enough done in one day. Your children don’t see your body, your hair, how frumpy you actually look or how tired you feel. All they can see is how giving your soul is and how nurturing you are to them. They think you are the most beautiful person in this world because they don’t even know what it’s like to ‘feel frumpy,’ and their version of feeling ‘tired’ is not on the same level as ours. They are taught this as they get older and when they get to that point, they will understand. But the way you make them feel and the way they feel about you is the most genuine connection there is before life takes over. There are only so many hours in a single day and everything will not get done. Try your best to shorten your temper or negative thoughts when it comes to this. This also goes for moments of outbursts, such as snapping at your spouse for not taking the garbage out. It’s not the end of the world. It’s a garbage bag. This should not run your life or ruin your day. If you’re yelling at each other for these kinds of things, there is something bigger happening that is bothering you more, not that garbage bag or the fact that ‘they forgot to carry it outside.’ (I will be doing a post on this later but for now, take a breath and maybe take the garbage out yourself. That walk to and from the curb could give you the extra refreshed mindset that you need for a bit.)
Just relax and get through one day at a time, girlfriend. Tomorrow is a new day and the extra ‘stuff’ will still be there to try again. Whatever it is you put your mind to is where your soul is going to bloom, it’s where the passion is poured out and it’s where you find your ‘happy place.’ Find it and stay there. Turn your mindset on the things that matter and your mind and your heart will be so much happier.
I AM GRATEFUL.
What are three things that you are grateful for at this very second? Okay, four if you are like me and you’re including that cup of coffee that is helping you get through the day, ha. Even is there is negativity going on in your life or on your mind somehow, and you’re still working on keeping your chin up, there is still something to feel grateful for. Did your babe hug you today? Did they need your help today? Do you have a roof over your head or a good friend who just listens? Is the sun shining through your windows or do you have some pretty fresh flowers to look at on your counter? Smile. You should still feel so grateful.
I APPRECIATE MY LIFE.
Your life has value and you, my friend, are so valuable. You’ve worked hard to be where you are, others look up to you, they appreciate and need you. So simply, just appreciate where you are, what you’ve been given and accept all of the love that IS there. Life is a precious thing.
And the last one,
CHANGE IS MANDATORY.
Look at how far you’ve come. Look where you are at now, it may not be in the same house and some of the same people may no longer be in your life, but it’s a new chapter. It’s part of the journey and look how strong you’ve become. Those old memories in photographs or in the back of your mind are just a part of your story together and have made you who you are today. Don’t stress and don’t compare yourself to the way you used to look, what you did back then compared to now or even the things you had. Just look at is as change, a transformation. Change is a good thing, change is needed, and change is beautiful. Life itself, is all about the change and growth. You’re still growing, mama. You’re still learning and gaining strength and hope and confidence. But you know what? You always will.
It takes time to grow, and you are blooming just the way you were meant to. Do your thang.
And be nice to yourself. The very fact that you worry about being ‘a good mom’ means that you already are one.
Go and hug your babies!