We need to STOP.
Stop the first impression judgement, the judgement in general. The constant worrying about others, like what they think about you, the things you enjoy but ‘shouldn’t’ be doing, or what you are doing right or wrong. Don’t worry about what others are doing or saying or buying and please stop comparing yourself to them. You can’t sit back and judge or compare someone else’s story to yours. You just can’t. You’re not living the same life as them and you’re not going down the same paths as they are. Just because they have nice things doesn’t mean you know their past or what they’ve been through. Just because they have a smile on their face all the time doesn’t mean they are or have the happiest kind of life that you imagine it to be. They may be hurting, deeply struggling with something or they may have moved their biggest mountains to finally be able to enjoy the happiness they have now. The more you stop comparing yourself to others, the more time you will have to better your own life. Stop pinning and wishing and wanting and start doing. Stop wasting time dwelling on other people’s life and take that time to improve your own. Keep yourself busy, find a new hobby, make it a point to want to make other people happy instead of just yourself. When you give something your focus, it consumes you and it becomes something stronger and brighter. Fitness, your small business, your home, your relationships. Think about it. Dive into that and watch it grow.
You need to pull yourself away from the things and the people that don’t push you forward. Yes, unfortunately, this even includes family. The ones who don’t believe in you or see the good that you have to give or what you have to offer, they don’t deserve you. You need to remove the negativity from your life. All of it. Stop taking on loads and extra weight of worry that isn’t even yours.
How much of the worry that you’re carrying right now isn’t even yours to worry about?
There will always be people around you questioning ‘why can’t you just get over it’ or saying ‘just push through it,’ even when you feel like you aren’t able. And that’s okay, to a certain degree even though they may not really understand. But those negative people who don’t believe in you, those who bring you down, belittle you to the point where you don’t even feel like yourself or allow you to lose your confidence, or those who are pulling you back every time you want to take a leap forward, please don’t allow them to do so. You deserve to be everything you’re capable of without anyone tearing you down or holding you back from your dreams or goals. It’s okay to be scared. And I promise the people who you need most in your life will stay in it or show up at just the right time. Don’t hold onto someone who doesn’t treat you right just because you’re afraid of being lonely. You are enough. And you’re stronger than you think you are. You. Deserve. This.
In other cases, I want to encourage you to stop being ashamed of your past, what you’ve been through or what you’re going through. There is nothing to be ashamed about, love. Nothing. If it’s divorce, abuse, a loss, a feeling of weakness, an illness, anything. It’s you and it’s your story. You may not have had any control over something that has happened to you but I do guarantee you’re not the only one it’s happened to. At the end of all the sorrow, YOU are the one who chooses if you’re going to be happy or not. You and only you. So are you? Do you want to be? Will you choose to be? Please, please choose to be happy. You are needed, you’re worthy, you’re loved and you are appreciated. And even on days when you’re drained but still doing the best you can, you’re being recognized. Maybe not by the one single person you want it to be from, but someone. By someone who needs you. Someone who looks up to you or watches you and grows secretly into a better person just because of YOU.
I saw this video recently of a woman running in a half marathon. She got toward the end of the race and just couldn’t go any further. Two men ended up holding onto her as she walked a bit until her legs finally started to give out. You could see the loss of hope in her eyes and sense her weakness getting the best of her. She just didn’t seem like she could go one step further. Another man suddenly ran up behind her, swooped her up, and carried her the rest of the way through the finish line.
I wanted to tell you this story because we have all been there. And if you haven’t yet, you will be. It’s a place in your life when you are at your lowest, inside the darkest hole and the most scary. A place completely out of your hands or something that you’ll feel like you can’t handle anymore. A place of losing hope, losing the positive drive to look ahead or keep going, and the times where you’ll lose faith and just want to completely give up. It may be a hard lesson to be learned, but maybe it will be something for you to hold onto for the future or simply to remind us what things there are in our life to be thankful for. You’ll become stronger than you ever were before, or even knew you could be, and you may even start thinking from a different perspective or completely change your way of thinking because of it. I know you may not want to think about it or hear it, or even believe that things will be happy again, but it’s true. There will be people around you who support you, to offer their help or even a hug. Allow it. Take the help and please keep those people. It is okay to fall, and to fall hard. But you need to get. back. up. Take some time to breathe, reflect, cry, wonder. And then do whatever it takes to start standing again. You have to. You HAVE to.
Most importantly, if you see someone else fall, pick them up. You can’t just leave them there. DO NOT leave them there. Please, please pick them up. Help carry them through their finish line. Back into their light of a fresh start, a new beginning of whatever it is in their journey, a positive direction. They need to finish the race they are in before they can move on and be strong and choose ‘happy’ again. Honestly, they truly just may need YOU. And you don’t need a reason to help people.
This world, as we know it, is unbelievably cruel. Life is just so hard, and you know what? We need to be there for each other. We need to fight hard for ourselves and everyone else because we don’t know their journey. We need to stop judging by the cover so fast and we need to just be there for one another, for whatever it is that one may need us for. If someone comes into your life, it’s for a reason. It may be a long term friendship or one ‘just for the season’ – in other words, there is a reason. You are meant to cross paths with someone because one of you needs to find a little light in the darkness somehow and the other one is holding the lantern. You may not realize it right away, or even think about that. But believe me, there IS a reason.
“A circle of women may be the most powerful force known to humanity. If you have one, embrace it. If you need one, seek it. If you find one, for the love of all that is good and holy, dive in. Hold on. Love it up. Get naked. Let them see you. Let them hold you. Let your reluctant tears fall. Let yourself rise fierce and love gentle. YOU WILL BE CHANGED. The very fabric of your being will be altered by this, if you allow it. Please, please allow it.”
When we work together, we are powerful. We can do so much to help one another and each one of us can give something that someone else can’t. We need to reach out and help each other, lift each other up and inspire one another. I encourage you to free yourself, speak your story, your hurt, your struggles. BE FREE. Feel weightless and fly like you were meant to. Your story may just help save someone’s life or you may become just the right amount of light they need to make it through a specific chapter of their own journey.
If it is you who needs the help, needs the hug, it’s time for you to reach out your hand. Allow someone to help guide you through your finish line and into the light of your future. Get rid of all the negativity and watch your life fall back into place. Make it as big as you want it to be, make it great. Because really, you were meant to be SO great.