If I’m being completely honest with you, the physical feelings that came with this transition of Owen switching schools was sickening a bit and I had a feeling of being punched in the gut. From the very first day that we toured the school in the planning ahead stages, I opened those metal doors after our meeting and as the wind hit my face I started crying, knowing that this is where he should be.
Knowing that he would do amazing here with these people and all of the things and opportunities they had to offer him in his daily routines was so comforting. But it is also the school placement in our journey where he would always be once he got here.
This vision of this day was building up in my mind ever since he started Kindergarten. With having a regressive disease in mind, I knew that along with other things in life that we are reminded of daily, we also wouldn’t be staying in the normal public school forever either. I was secretly hoping in my heart, that we would just finish out elementary school in our hometown with his peers and his tribe. But with reality comes change and with change comes beautiful new beginnings and reason. We just have to keep choosing to see it this way.
Was I ready? Not really. Did I know it was coming? Yes. Did I know it was the right time? Yes. Yes, I knew the time was coming, I knew all of the things. And that time has now arrived. I just didn’t really have the time to prepare myself like I wanted or thought that I would. But that’s okay I guess. I just don’t like the times like these that have to keep arriving, the ones reminding us of the reality that we are living…
Welcome to unpack your backpack night: The First Day of School EVE
Tuesday August 13, 2019
I was soaking in the last morning before our huge change and drowning. Randy couldn’t go to backpack night with us tonight because he had to work and I talked my heart into knowing we’d get through it, just him and I.
Right around the time we were getting ready to go to therapy to start our day, I felt my nerves start to hit me full force. The doorbell then frantically rang, the dogs barked like crazy, I was confused until I saw her face! I ran back to the kitchen and SOBBED as Owen stayed for a surprise hug. This day would NOT have been the same on my heart if Nana wouldn’t have showed up! She got to see Owen for the first time at horse therapy, we got a smoothie, and we went to backpack night together before meeting Dad Randy for dinner.
We LAUGHED SO HARD and it was such an enjoyable, happy and FUN day… because of her. Thanks, Mama.
You guys, Owen looked at me dead in the eyes after taking him to his class to meet his teacher and said, “Ok mom, you go now? Uh pick me up later?” His teacher allowed him to bring two stuffed animals home to sleep with that he attached to as soon as he walked into the room, the perfect way to start his first day!
We walked around and saw where he will hang up his backpack, tested out the water fountain, went out to the playground and got to see his amazing therapy room!
“He’s FINE. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
Another moment of reality hit me before we left the school on this night. Owen sat and played with Nana so that I could talk to the school nurses a little bit more in depth about his diagnosis, his needs now and things to expect and watch for in the future. She looked at her computer and said:
“Ok, so I have Owen going into 4th grade this year, correct?”
“Oh, no, he’s going into 3rd...” I corrected her.
”Well I have him here as 4th.”
And then I realized... my stomach turned. She had corrected ME! Owen ‘skipped a grade’ back into our reality. When he was in preschool, he started all of the symptoms of developmental and speech delays, which is also when we had decided to hold him back one more year before sending him off to kindergarten to help him grow. He IS going into fourth grade!
To end the night, we met Dad Randy in time for dinner and enjoyed a blissful drive home into the sunset.
Nana had a sleepover with us.
sigh. Tomorrow will be so bittersweet.
Owen’s First Day Of School At His New School
Wednesday August 14,2019
Good morning!!
So here we are, living our life full circle with Owen going into the grade he is supposed to be in and right where we were meant to be. I’m wearing my “no worries” tee and he’s wearing “All good.” They were the ones sitting on top of our piles in our drawers this morning while I was frantically trying to figure out what he should wear - it seemed fitting enough.
The scariest part of our journey has always been THE UNKNOWN. Everything before NOW, before diagnosis. The days of testing and confusion and trial and error. We are HERE now. Living our PURPOSE. And we are at peace ONLY for that reason of knowing.
Happy first day of 4th grade, baby! You are going to have SO much fun, I just know it! We are so incredibly PROUD of you!
We have a long road ahead you guys, but with our amazing tribe behind us (that’s YOU! 🤟🏻) we will ride the roads, soak in the sunshine and conquer all of the storms… together.
It’s time to celebrate this new chapter, the answers we’ve received, the positive guidance and help from others and most of all, all of the smallest victories in between!
Allllll good, my baby. You’re allllll good.
We’re “all good.”
💜💜💜
