“Remember when binge watching movies and tv on vacations was totally a ok? Remember when moms weren’t expected to create bucket lists for each school break? Remember when hanging out in the house doing nothing was not only the norm but the expectation? Remember when everything wasn’t documented and shared so you felt like you weren’t the only one not creating epic adventures? Remember when being a mom wasn’t scrutinized it was just lived as each day came and doing your day was enough? Just remember that never has being a mom been so complicated, just remember it doesn’t have to be, just remember that you love your mom because she’s your mom and she made you feel happy and loved. It wasn’t the bucket lists, or the adventures or really anything else, it was just because she was Yours and you were hers.” - Cat and Nat
I went to write this blog post on the topic above, I had all of this other stuff all typed out and scrolled to find this quote first thing this morning. Coincidence? Who knows… But they took the words RIGHT out of my mouth and I'm letting it speak for itself. I knew just then I needed to remind you, in case you weren't able to read those exact words like I did, it’s true.
It’s a New Year, guys. A fresh start again. No matter where you are in your life, you are given another year, another chance. Parenting is definitely hard, but you totally got this. And as much as we are all different in our parenting, we are all trying our best, just remember that. Stop judging, stop shaming and please, stop comparing.
The days we grew up in and those that our parents grew up in were clearly different than the days our babes are growing up in now, and we make it more difficult on ourselves than it needs to be at times. Most times to be exact. Social media is a thief. It’s a thief of time, a thief of joy sometimes and a thief of independence in a sense. Comparing yourself to other parents, where they live, what they do, how they portray their life, especially in one tiny little Instagram square when we know their house isn’t perfect… it needs to stop. We drive ourselves crazy because of it. Then you sit there wondering why you don't have this long fancy bucket list of things to do with the kids made out, why don’t you get to go to those places or give your family or kids certain things. Who cares. What ever happened to just supporting one another getting through a single day of chaos or calling someone just to check on them, to truly see how their life is going? When is the last time you called a friend? Being a mom now a days is much harder, I believe. Comparison is taking over everything and there is this huge cloud weighing on our shoulders trying to make us believe you have to do certain things or take your kids certain places. It doesn’t have to be this way. It never used to be, it doesn’t have to be. I remember just loving being able to stay home. The best kind of plans, were no plans at all some weekends and over breaks.
Your babies are going to love you no matter what you wear, where you take them - if anywhere at all, and don't care one bit about what you look like on your ‘bad days.’ They love you for loving them, spending time with them and just being there. Be more present. Stop scrolling and wishing. Stop documenting unless it’s a quick moment you truly want to remember. Just live the life you have right in front of you. Make memories and stop comparing. I think it's important to remember that we don't always need to be doing stuff all the time, as busy as life already is, we need to stop making it harder on ourselves. Sometimes, it's quite alright to do nothing.
If you don’t have a single dang thing planned this Christmas break, while others plan a sledding trip, a weekend away, a fancy train ride on the Polar Express, whatever it is, it’s okay! And don’t feel bad one bit. We are staying home as much as we can and not doing a single darn thing. I mean, I don’t even want to go grocery shopping… but I think they will get mad at me for that one. (Ha, sending out dad, lets be serious!) Throw tons of movies on and just pile on top of each other to cuddle, bake something together if you feel like getting off the couch and play some board games. Take multiple naps (we are taking this one incredibly seriously), eat cookies for dinner, warm your soul with excessive amounts of coffee or cocoa, and I tripple doggie dare you not to even get out of your pajamas! Who cares! They are happy and loved, fed and cuddled. This, mama, is all that matters. Here is some updated real life 'fun stuff' that has happened on our break: I got glasses, my heat went out in my car for a couple days, we had a hospital visit and a sick kid to throw into the mix, yay for perfection over here! And I'm literally not joking when I say we've done a whole lot of sleeping, haaa. #dontcare
So please remember for this upcoming year, “It wasn’t the bucket lists, or the adventures or really anything else, it was just because she was Yours and you were hers.”
Simplify your life, my friend. The people you need in life are right in front of you.
And I'll be right here with you, reminding myself and happily doing the same thing.